there is so much that needs to be said and so much that has been done within the past few weeks... everything has taken its course and nothing has steered slightly in the wrong direction, fate. destiny. good or bad nothing should need to have regret. never regret. the decision is made and the actions done, if there is any doubt or regret than just remember the reason of your choices.

i'm honestly.....Happy

Try to dig yourself a hole in concrete using only a plastic spoon. You'll see it will get you no where. The concrete will not only be un touched but also unscared. Leaving the spoon torn apart, bent, or even pieces of it chipped off. Its hard to understand why someone who is just trying to get acknowledged for existing in another persons life could get so unappriciated, used and abused. Really they just need to get up dust themself off and not try again but go on with their life. Take a step back and ask. Is it really worth it?

Okay so the first day of the year 2009 has ended and evidently it wasn't the best it could have been. In 2008 I had so many great and amazing up's however, the downs hit me hard. I still have to recover from one that happened so recent.

It hurts so much to know that although I do believe that i did what i had to do, it is causing so much pain... I'm truly so sorry for what I have done, however I cannot regret it because the future will be better.

I don't deserve what I have. Everything that i have that is good to me i dont deserve.

I don't understand what is going on within my head. my mind and my heart are dissagreeing with each other and its making all my decisions so hard..